Big Stars Mixing like Oil and Water

Chris Evans and Ana de Armas have scant chemistry in a rom-com actioner that never finds its footing. Ghosted can’t figure out how to make its individually likable leads work as a couple. The premise of a needy farmer accidentally falling for a lethal secret agent had promise. Opposites attract and love blooms while bullets fly. Sounds good on paper, but there needs to be a tangible connection tying the mismatched pair together. The film packs on the star power with a barrage of big name cameos. These scenes are relatively humorous but too fleeting to make a difference.

On the outskirts of Washington DC, a grieving Sadie Rhodes (de Armas) stops by a farmer’s market. She’s lost a colleague and doesn’t know how to process her feelings. Cole Turner (Evans) has just been dumped for being clingy and over affectionate. Sadie’s looking for a plant that doesn’t require constant watering. She travels for work and can’t make that commitment. Cole refuses her purchase. He won’t be responsible for floral neglect. An astounded Sadie walks away in a huff.

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A friend tells Cole to chase after that girl. There was definitely sexual tension between them. He stops her car and asks for the digits. Maybe they can go out sometime? A surprised Sadie decides to push the envelope — let’s hang out now. Cole races to get his asthma inhaler. He has a habit of losing everything, so attaches tracking tiles to his stuff.

A Grand Romantic Gesture

Apple TV+

Day turns to night as the pair continually extends the date. She’s an art curator always on the move. He’s a farmer who’s never left the country. Cole leaves her townhouse on cloud nine. He can’t help but text to meet again, but several days go by with no response. Cole realizes he left his inhaler in her purse. A check of the tag reveals that Sadie is in London. He decides to make a grand romantic gesture. He zips across the pond in amorous pursuit. Cole didn’t expect to be kidnapped by sadistic goons upon arrival. He’s even more gobsmacked when a machine gun toting Sadie rescues him and slaughters the baddies.

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The running gag throughout the film is that “these two need to get a room.” That’s heard repeatedly on their globetrotting adventure. The rub is that there isn’t a smoldering intensity between them. Evans and de Armas are obviously gorgeous people. It’s perfectly natural for them to want immediate physical intimacy. But Ghosted credits their magnetism to personality differences. She’s a loner with trust issues. He’s aw shucks sweet and ready to open an emotional spigot. There’s no sizzle to their bacon. The protagonists go through the motions mixing like oil and water.

Ghosted Runs Out of Steam

Adrien Brody, a superb Oscar-winning actor, plays the French villain like he’s twirling his mustache. He makes a lot of threats to hapless henchmen but isn’t fear-inducing. The story arc has him mistaking Cole for the spy because a woman couldn’t possibly be their butt-kicking adversary. Sadie shreds his men like confetti, but he remains utterly clueless to her identity. This play on sexism, meant to be funny, quickly runs out of steam.

The cameos are hilarious but expose the film’s faults. You can’t have seconds of laughter followed by long dry spells. The near two-hour runtime also tries patience. Ghosted feels like a missed opportunity with a banner cast.

Ghosted is a production of Apple Studios and Skydance. It’s currently available to stream exclusively on Apple TV+.

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