I was in awe of her and wanted to impress her

Charli XCX has written a song on her new album about her relationship with SOPHIE, who she says she was “in awe of” and always wanted to impress.

In January 2021, the highly influential DJ and producer SOPHIE died at the age of 34 in a tragic accident in Athens.

Charli and SOPHIE worked together on many projects, beginning in 2015 with the former’s ‘Vroom Vroom’ EP. They went on to collaborate on the singles ‘After the Afterparty’, ‘No Angel’, and ‘Girls Night Out’, as well as the ‘Number 1 Angel’ tracks ‘Roll With Me’ and ‘Lipgloss’, and ‘Pop 2’ track ‘Out of My Head’.

And now, as confirmed in a new interview with The Face, there is a track on Charli’s upcoming sixth album, which is as yet untitled, that explores her grief over SOPHIE. As she explains in the interview, the song was the result of a complicated blend of emotions.

Charli XCX. Credit: Pascal Le Segretain/Getty

“There was a lot of distance between us because I was in awe of her and wanted to impress her,” she said.

“She believed in me in ways that I didn’t believe [in] myself. But I felt like I would never be interesting enough to operate in her world outside of the studio, which was the safe space where we could connect and bond over music.”

“I didn’t feel like I was magical enough for this unbelievably magic person. And that makes me ashamed now I don’t have the opportunity to experience that anymore, because she’s gone. I feel ashamed for being a coward. It’s hard to write about. I’m sad for myself that I didn’t experience all this person had to offer.”

After SOPHIE’s death, Charli posted her personal tribute, writing: “It’s really hard for me to sum up the special connection I felt with such an amazing person who completely changed my life,” she wrote.

“There are so many memories, so many small details, so many different views and incredible feelings and stories. It’s impossible to summarise the journey I went on with Sophie. Even the most insignificant thing felt enormous.”

She continued to say she couldn’t “encapsulate what a unique person” her collaborator was in one post. “I will honour Sophie in my own time personally, in my grief, through my memories, through my work, through writing things only I will read,” she said.

“For now, all I can [say] is that I will miss her terribly; her smile, her laugh, her dancing in the studio, her gentle inquisitive voice, her cutting personality, her ability to command a room without even trying, her incredible vision and mind. She taught me so much about myself without even realising.”

With Charli preparing to release the new album, she shared a preview of the lead single ‘Von Dutch’ earlier this month.

You can view the original article HERE.