Rachael Ray is navigating grief this holiday season. She doesn’t have time for ‘negative energy’ on the internet.

Rachael Ray can follow all her best recipes to a tee this holiday, but Christmas won’t feel the same, no matter what.

“My mom passed away,” the celebrity chef and TV personality tells Yahoo at the start of our call — the first time she’s spoken publicly about it. “I have been crying quite a bit, but they’re tears of gratitude.”

Elsa Scuderi had a remarkable “92-year run,” Ray, 57, says of her mother. A restaurateur who heavily influenced the Rachael Ray’s Meals in Minutes host’s culinary career, Scuderi was a true “workhorse” who, at the height of her career, ran 12 restaurants. That drive rubbed off on Ray, who says her mother “gave me my work ethic” and “snapped us into ‘man-up mode’ from childhood.”

Ray was by her mother’s side in her final days, leaving nothing unsaid.

“She passed at home, in my home, and that’s what she wanted,” Ray says. “We had lots of wonderful adventures together, and in her last days, all I did was tell her the great stories of our lifetime together. The closure was a wonderful gift. It’s certainly the best gift this holiday season.”

She adds: “I’m very grateful to be her daughter. I’ve had a very blessed life in many, many ways. So it’s just not the happiest of holidays this year, but still one I’m filled with nothing but gratitude for. … It’s just a weird time of year to be without her.”

For nearly three decades, Ray has strived to make people’s lives easier and more nourishing through her quick, approachable recipes, often inspired by her family, including her maternal grandfather, who lived with them. With catchphrases aplenty — ”Delish,” “Yum-o” — the 30 Minute Meals guru has built an empire spanning media, kitchenware and pet food.

Yet this has been a time of new opportunity. In 2023, Ray signed off from her eponymous syndicated daytime talk and lifestyle show after 17 years to pivot. She launched her own production company, Free Food Studios, and partnered with A+E Global Media’s Home.Made.Nation to create in-the-kitchen programming and develop new culinary talent. The slate — which also includes Rachael Ray Holidays, Rachael Ray’s Rebuild and Rachael Ray in Tuscany — airs on A&E and FYI and streams on Disney+ and Hulu. In October, the deal was extended through 2026.

Unlike some cooking shows, Ray is in her own home — whether it’s in New York or Tuscany — chopping things up in her kitchen and putting the remnants in her garbage bowl. The shows are personal and family-centric, with her husband of 20 years, entertainment attorney and musician John Cusimano, mixing cocktails, and her sister, Maria Betar, lending a hand, just as Mama Scuderi would have no doubt approved.

“It’s our real lives, our real kitchens,” Ray says about the new shows. “I have more control over what I do now that I’m the partner instead of the talent. It’s a different group of opportunities and freedom that I have.”

She adds, “It’s just exciting to still be relevant, especially as a woman in her 50s.”

Ray makes a point to say, “I don’t burn any of my bridges,” talking about recent get-togethers with colleagues from Food Network and The Rachael Ray Show, and even her manager when she led Macy’s Fresh Foods Department in her 20s. “I’m still friends with every boss and partner I’ve ever had.”

That mindset comes with purpose. Ray doesn’t have time for negativity — trolls and tabloids, take note.

“I ignore it,” the This Must Be the Place: Dispatches & Food from the Home Front author says of chatter about her personal life or criticism. “I don’t follow social media feedback because there’s no point. Why would you waste time on negative energy? That’s not my job. My job is to work for the people who do watch, who do want to listen, who do want to come to an event or read a book of mine. Those are the people I work for.”

What helps her tune out unnecessary distractions is to be “grounded in service,” including delivering aid to Ukraine and supporting animal charities through her Nutrish brand.

“You have to keep yourself humble enough to understand you’re not that important,” she says.

It’s a philosophy she applies in the kitchen as well.

“Don’t take yourself so seriously,” she advises. “Cook what you know you can do. Don’t try something elaborate you’ve never made before, setting yourself up for failure. Have fun. Drink a glass of wine, or a cup of tea, whatever chills you out. [You have to] make yourself happy before you try and make other people happy.”

Ray’s optimism stands out amid a series of misfortunes. In August 2020, while navigating COVID and the death of her dog, Isaboo, she lost everything in a fire that destroyed her Lake Luzerne, N.Y., home. In 2021, Ray’s NYC apartment flooded during Hurricane Ida.

“We rebuilt our house, and we fixed our apartment,” she says, noting that staying focused on work, “other than tragedy,” helped her get through it.

Ray and husband John Cusimano at the South Beach Wine & Food Festival in February. (Jason Koerner/Getty Images)

“I had to watch [remnants of] my house be taken away for weeks when I was living in the guest house next door,” she says. “For two years, my husband and I made over 200 shows by ourselves. What made me focus was work. They wanted Emeril [Lagasse] or one of my friends to finish the shows for me. I said, ‘Don’t be ridiculous.’ I was [also] in the middle of teaching a children’s summer camp cooking class, online because of COVID. I made ‘Impossiballs’ meatballs and spaghetti sauce with the kids days after the fire while I was watching them cart my house away.”

She adds, “I drew that house on a piece of paper and had it built. Then I redrew it and had it rebuilt.” Ray also adopted a new dog, Bella.

Needless to say, Ray and Cusimano have been through it — yet there he is in her cooking shows, juggling tomatoes or cooking their turkey outside on the grill. Their secret to 20 years of marriage?

“We do not hold anything back,” she says. “We’re volatile people. If John’s pissed about something, boy, he’ll let you know. If I’m pissed about something, I’ll let him know. Then it’s just out of your system, and we’re smooching and hitting each other on the ass and making a cocktail or something. You move along.”

It also helps that “we’re not needy,” Ray says.

“John can spend the entire day in his studio. I can spend the entire day in the kitchen or drawing pictures or wrapping presents,” she says. “It’s not like every minute of the day we’re [asking], ‘Where are you?’ ‘What are you doing?’ I’m going back to Italy today [and] he’s not coming until next week because he’s recording. You have to let people be themselves. If you don’t like who they are, why’d you marry them?”

When it comes to sharing her life with the world, she says she lets honesty be her guide — never holding back and always keeping it real.

“I’ve always been a blabbermouth,” she says. “What people liked about 30 Minutes all those decades ago is that I would make jokes about, ‘If you ruin this, just be honest about it.’ ‘If the pasta hits the wall and doesn’t stick, you’ll get over it.’”

She continues, “That’s the brand: Be real, don’t be uptight and share the truth. Don’t share swaps and fakes and fake stories or study other people’s notes. It’s always been my food and my stories and they’ve always been real for over 30 years. I can’t change that up now.”

Despite her grief this holiday season, Ray’s kitchen table will be full anyway. Food soothes and brings people together.

“Every day when I’m in Italy, I make a family meal for anyone who’s on [the] property,” she says. “I’m having a giant Christmas meal for our neighbors. We really do have a living kitchen — people come and go, always with an open chair. Everyone is always welcome. That’s the case at our home upstate too, with my sister, friends and everybody who helps up there.”

She says, “I was taught that by my mama and my grandpa, and that’s the way we live our lives.”

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