John Waters On The Hamptons, Fashion, and Turning 80

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The one and only John Waters is coming to Guild Hall in East Hampton this month to perform his hilarious one-man show, Going to Extremes, for the first time on the East End. The director, writer, and living legend tells THE DAILY SUMMER what you should expect, why he loves performing at the ripe age of 80, and whether he has any plans to direct again. 

Hi John, what’s the premise of the show?
I rewrite the show once a year, completely. It’s a 70-minute sermon basically. It’s a rant about fashion, politics, my movies, everything. It’s called Going to Extremes, and this year we’re obviously in extreme times, and it’s about how to get through it, how to win, and go through life not whining all the time.

What topics do you address with fashion?
Fashion is protection, fashion is humor, fashion is warfare, fashion is how you make your first impression and change people’s minds. Fashion is very important. At the same time, I find it humorous. When I was young, I used to spend the cheapest amount of money to look good, and now I spend the most amount of money to look poor!

That’s brilliant! What brands do you wear?
I loved it when they used to say to Jackie Kennedy, “Who’s outfit are you wearing?” and she’d say, “Mine!” I hate anything that shows labels. I do wear Comme des Garçons, The Gap, Paul Smith. I buy all my clothes at MAC Modern Appeal Clothing in San Francisco. It’s a great boutique. Mostly though, they’re for stage wear. I don’t go walking around in this. Actually…that’s a lie. I have Comme des Garçons T-shirts!

We’ve spotted you in Provincetown over the years, but never the Hamptons!
It’s my 63rd summer in Provincetown. I don’t vacation in the Hamptons. I’m doing shows in Provincetown, the Hamptons, and Fire Island. I’m spreading it deep, baby. Nobody really goes to more than one of those places. You can’t mix. I have great friends in the Hamptons and get invited to many nice houses when they invite me out. It’s wonderful to be invited. I’ve had great times there, but you have to pick one.

You’re touring around the country. What’s your take on America right now as you travel around?
You have to come see the show to hear that! That’s what it’s about. I did 59 shows on the road this year. I live in airports. It’s a writing exercise. I do a 10-second biography of each person on the plane. I imagine their sex life, or I imagine them nude. A lot of people do that. They just don’t tell you. I’m never bored. As for Americans, they like to laugh. They’re sick of everyone preaching at them from either side. The left, the right, I’m in the radical middle right now. Somewhere I’ve never been in my life.

What do you like about touring?
I stay in touch with my fans. I have many people in the audience who weren’t even born when I made my last movie. I think that’s important. Being in show business is like being a politician. I get to see my fans. I see what they’re talking about. Come to see my show, and you’ve got homework. Nobody can get every joke, but you look it up when you leave. My audiences are smart. They get dressed up for me. They read the papers and know what’s going on. Basically, they have a sense of humor about themselves, which is the most important thing about getting through life.

What’s in your rider?
A box of Kleenex. Food and some drinks for my guests. I don’t have an insane rider with green M&M’s. People say, “What did you have to eat tonight?” And I say, “What I have every night! Charcuterie trays.” That’s all I eat.

Is every performance a little different?
The show is exactly the same because I’m well planned and rehearsed. But the question-and-answer part is completely different. I do rerwrite the show every year, so if you come every year, you’ll see a completely new show.

Have you ever said anything that caused audience members to walk out?
Trigger warnings were invented for me! But no one ever gets mad. I make fun of the rules that I live by. I make fun of myself first. All you have to do is Google me. It doesn’t say family-friendly, bring your kids. My shows are never mean. They’re rude. I haven’t seen anyone walk out.

You had your 80th birthday recently. What did you do to celebrate?
Nine shows in 10 cities. And then I went on vacation to London and a friend of mine and I went to Marquis de Sade’s castle ruins in the South of France.

How did you feel about turning 80?
People say, I don’t know how you do it. I say, I don’t know why I wouldn’t do it while I still can and it’s still offered. I told audiences that if I die onstage, you can do a selfie. If you dig me up for sex in the graveyard, oral only!

Curious to hear what you think about AI.
I always thought it would be great porn, but I’m disappointed. I do hope it finds a cure for cancer. You can’t be against the future.

John Waters (Courtesy)

What’s your take on the popularity of GLP-1 medications?
I said to someone I know, “Is it healthy?” and they said, “Do you think weighing 400 pounds was healthy?” What do you say to that? Whatever people want to do. I’ve had great luck with fat stars. You’re not allowed to say fat anymore. It’s the new F word.

Are you reading any books right now?
I read a great book about Lady C: The Long Sensational Life of Lady Chatterley’s Lover. I’m starting The Wonderful World That Almost Was, a dual biography by Andrew Durbin. It’s about [artists] Paul Thek and Peter Hujar and their life together.

Did you read Liza Minnelli’s recent autobiography?
No, I’m not that gay! I know Liza, and I love her. I’m all for her. She just never knew there was such a thing as a straight man to marry! My favorite was when National Enquirer or one of those publications wrote that her last husband, [David Gest], who she now disowns, killed JonBenét Ramsey.

Will we ever see another film from you?
They optioned my book Liarmouth: A Feel-Bad Romance and hired me to write it and they liked it. Then the company went out of business. Now nobody will give me the money because it’s expensive. You can’t make it as a cheap movie. I’m not interested in making an underground movie at 80!

Do you go to the beach in the summer?
Half an hour every day. I love to go in the ocean. I’m always looking for a sneaker wave to come grab and kill people. The beach I go to all the time is where the shark bit off the guy’s leg. I like a beach with some edge!

John Waters

John Waters: Going to Extremes plays on Sunday, July 26, at Guild Hall. For tickets, visit guildhall.org.

Photography by GREG GORMAN

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