This Is Us Round Table: Who Did You Support More During KaToby’s Divorce?

Kate and Toby’s marriage has been slowly dying for a while.

On This Is Us Season 6 Episode 12, it ended, while in the future new love blossomed for Kate and Philip.

Our TV Fanatics Laura, Christine, and Jack, discuss whether the years-long storyline felt rushed, who we felt sympathy for, and what we thought was the most poignant moment.

This Is Us compacted several more years of Toby and Kate’s relationship falling apart into one episode. Did this work for you, or did you think it was too rushed?

Laura: By this time, I was ready for it. They’ve been fighting all season.

Doing several years in one episode, though, did seem rushed, and I wish they could have let this story breathe throughout the season instead of maybe three episodes.

Christine: It worked for me. There’s only so much marital angst I can take, and Kate and Toby’s marriage has been imploding for some time now.

We saw enough of how they tried to save their marriage and why they inevitably decided to end it. I’m glad it didn’t drag out too long because that could have gotten very depressing.

Jack: I thought it was perfect, but at the same time, the parallel relationship building between Kate and Philip felt rushed to me.

Who did you have more sympathy for as Toby and Kate’s marriage began to implode? Did it change at all by the end of the hour?

Laura: I was more Team Kate since Toby seemed so bitter and angry and even said some very harsh things, including that Kate wished he was like her dead father.

However, Toby looked so crushed when Kate said it was time to end it. I felt compassion for him too.

Christine: I could see both sides.

Kate has always had her father on a pedestal. Toby was never going to measure up to that picture in her head.

But Kate and Toby had poor communication from the start, which morphed into passive-aggressiveness and then all-out hostility.

It was no one’s fault and everyone’s fault.

They’re both flawed, and they both carry some of the blame for their marriage ending, but neither one is the bad guy, in my opinion.

Jack: Toby was driving me nuts in the last couple of episodes. I didn’t like how he made unilateral decisions instead of sitting down with Kate to figure out what was best for everyone.

But I also felt compassion for him when he was so heartbroken over the marriage ending, especially when he wanted Kate to give their relationship one more chance.

And I agree with Christine also that poor communication was the biggest culprit and that nobody was the bad guy in the end.

Did what we saw on screen about Philip and Kate getting together satisfy you?

Laura: Absolutely not! The few scenes we saw and their proposal were cute, but I wanted to see more of their relationship and how they got from friends to dating.

I wish we had more time to let the relationship breathe and develop on screen.

Christine: Yes. With this being the last season, I want to see how everyone’s stories move forward, and these scenes gave me that.

That’s not to say I wouldn’t enjoy more of their story, but if this is all we get, I’m satisfied.

Jack: I’m with Laura on this one. We’ve seen Philip soften, and he and Kate go from hostility to friendship, but I wanted to know more about how they ended up falling in love.

Toby met someone new by the end of the hour, and she appeared to be in his life for a long time afterward. Do you want to know more about her?

Laura: I do. I want to learn how their relationship developed, but I fear with time constraints, we won’t.

Christine: Nope. I’m just happy knowing that Toby found someone and is happy. Even better, Toby, Kate, and Philip seem to have formed their own type of family.

Jack: I’m curious about Toby’s new partner and immensely relieved that he found someone. I was worried that he was going to spiral down into a depression after the divorce.

I’d love to see more of that story, but I doubt that there’s time to develop this relationship much, so I’ll have to settle for knowing that Toby found someone and that he and Kate made co-parenting with new partners involved work.

Who did you think was more at fault for Kate and Toby not making it, if anyone?

Laura: I think they both tried to save their marriage, but they blossomed more when they were apart. Kate was right about that.

Toby wanted to stay together for the kids, but kids know when marriages are unhappy.

Kate and Toby’s marriage was filled with so much resentment and unhappiness it was time to say goodbye.

Christine: It was no one’s fault. They both grew apart. They both made mistakes. They both tried to fix it.

Sometimes, people are happier apart, and I was relieved that Kate could see that when Toby panicked at the thought of an uncertain future.

Jack: I agree that they both grew apart. As I said earlier, poor communication was at the root of all of their problems, and that was never really addressed.

I wish they could have said the ugly things they said to each other at home in the counselor’s office so that there would have been some chance of working through those feelings.

Discuss anything you’d like to about the small glimpses we got of Kevin, Randall, and Rebecca’s futures.

Laura: I hope Kevin finds a more relatable partner than those women he had in this episode. I want more for him.

I love that Randall became a senator.

It saddened me that Rebecca’s decline was going downhill, and I’m not sure how much longer she has after Kate’s wedding.

Christine: Ugh. I was disappointed to see that Madison appears to marry Elijah and even more so that Kevin continues to bounce from relationship to relationship.

I was hoping Kevin and Madison would end up back together. If that’s not going to happen, I really want Kevin to find someone he can love before the series ends.

There was nothing earth-shattering about Randall or Rebecca here. We know Randall runs for Senate, and we know Rebecca’s health will continue to decline. These were just very small glimpses into both of those things.

Jack: I was disappointed, but not surprised, that Kevin went back to bouncing from woman to woman. At this point, since he and Madison seem to be over, I’m hoping that he finds love with someone other than Sophie.

I feel like that relationship has run its course, and I don’t want them to try it for the third time.

You have the floor! Address anything not addressed above.

Laura: While it’s sad that Kate and Toby’s marriage ended, I think This is Us did a realistic portrayal of how a marriage ends and two people still are in each other’s lives. Well done to them.

Christine: How many episodes are left? I love this final season, but I’m not ready to let go of the Pearsons just yet.

Jack: There are six episodes to go! I also feel like it’s going by too fast, and I’m not ready to let go of the Pearsons yet.

I also thought toddler Jack was so adorable, and I’m going to miss seeing him now that the series is moving towards its end five years in the future.

I loved that Toby and Kate found their happy ending even if it wasn’t with each other. I was especially glad that Toby seemed to still be part of the Pearsons’ lives after the divorce.

What was the most poignant scene from this week’s This Is Us?

Laura: This episode was a rollercoaster. It tugged at my heart when baby Jack had his toys get stuck in the toilet so his parents would help him and stop fighting. Poor kid.

I also teared up when Philip revealed how his marriage dissolved, and his wife was hit by a car, and he was looking for happiness again, and Kate made him happy.

Christine: If you didn’t want to hug little Jack when he told his parents they needed to save his Boba Fett from the toilet and stop yelling, you have no heart!

And I felt for Toby when he begged Kate to give their marriage one more chance just days before they were to sign the divorce papers. Kate was right to turn him down, but my heart broke for him.

But I loved when Toby bought his own home and set up Jack’s bedroom with the same furniture and layout as he has at Kate’s. I’m not sure married Toby would have seen the importance, but single-father Toby had a whole new focus, and I loved that.

Jack: I loved all of the above scenes! I also loved when Toby, Kate, and their partners all came to see adult Jack perform, and Jack said, “You’re both here,” just like he had as a toddler. What a beautiful moment that showed how far they’d come since Toby begged Kate to give the marriage another chance!

Your turn, This Is Us fanatics!

Hit the big, blue SHOW COMMENTS button and let us know your answers to these questions.

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This Is Us airs on NBC on Tuesdays at 9 PM EST / PST.

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Jack Ori is a senior staff writer for TV Fanatic. His debut young adult novel, Reinventing Hannah, is available on Amazon. Follow him on Twitter.

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